Beginning My Film Career With a Message for 'Teens Like Phil'

I am proud to say that my film career as an actor has begun. This spring, while doing my daily browsing of the new casting opportunities on BackStage.com, I came across a casting notice for School of Bullies, a nonunion film that would be submitted to film festivals and air on Logo TV. The description of the film, which is based on a true story about a gay teen who is bullied to the point of becoming suicidal, also made me think about today's issues surrounding same-sex marriage and the countless young homosexual high school and college teens who are being bullied because of their sexual orientation.

As I read the breakdown for School of Bullies (which would later be re-titled Teens Like Phil) on BackStage.com, there were three characters that I knew I could audition for: Phil, a lonely gay high school outsider; Adam, Phil's crush; and Shaun, the bully. Not only did these characters fit my age range, but they were all just regular high school teenagers. This would not be my first audition for film, but it was the first one for which I was confident that I was the right actor for the project – not only because it was about characters who are roughly my age, but because I felt so strongly about the topic.

For a couple of weeks before my audition, I began to focus on learning how gay teens socialized with certain groups of people. I wouldn’t say I "studied" any specific behavior, but I kept my eyes open and learned a lot from that process. I researched news stories to familiarize myself with the ongoing problems within the United States regarding teen bullying and harassment, as well. I thought that as an actor, being familiar with the topic was something that could help me succeed in this audition.

I was a bit nervous, but also confident in myself when I went to the auditions at CAP 21 at NYU. I entered the audition room, where there were two men in their late 20s, a stool, and a camera about one foot away from the stool. I sat on the stool and proceeded to stare into the camera as I began the two-minute monologue I had prepared, a comedic piece from Albee’s The Zoo Story. David Rosler, the film's producer and co-director, then asked me to read for Adam and Phil. After reading the sides that were handed to me, I shook their hands and walked out the door. Even though I had no idea whether or not I had earned a part in the film, I was excited to leave the audition feeling mostly satisfied with myself.

I knew my audition went well and that I had performed the best I could, so if I didn’t get the part, I would still be happy. I received a phone call from Rosler soon after, though, who told me that they really liked me and they thought I did a very good job, and asked me to come in for a callback in two weeks. I couldn’t believe it. Could this casting notice that I found on BackStage.com possibly lead to my first film as a principal actor?

I returned for my callback and delivered another strong performance. (I knew this because after I improvised into the camera, Rosler said, "See, you don’t need to go to Tisch to have talent.") I left with a good feeling, but I was also very anxious. The decision took weeks, and Rosler finally called me to let me know that I was being considered for either Phil or Adam. I couldn’t believe it; those were the main characters. I was shocked with excitement when I was eventually cast as Adam.

*****

The weeks between the callback and the start of rehearsals were long and full of anticipation. For the span of three weeks, we had about three rehearsals a week. Rehearsals tended to be around three hours long – which only seemed like 20 minutes. The first part of the rehearsal process dealt with becoming the character, inside and out. We worked on a ton of physicality work, doing different exercises, and not even dealing with text.

The second part of the rehearsal process dealt with blocking and working through scenes. My first day on set, I wasn’t even really nervous, because after three weeks of rehearsing I knew what I had to do and I knew everything about my character, and now I was ready to share this with an audience.

But there were a couple of scenes in particular that were very difficult to shoot. The first was a scene in which Adam confronts Phil in the high school locker room. He beats him up, causing Phil to bleed. From there, he drags Phil into the shower, where he pees on him, then leaves.

Reading the scene on the page might seem challenging enough, but being put in that position and having to get inside Adam's mental and emotional state was even more difficult. I remember vividly as I was standing in the communal shower waiting for the director to yell "action," Adam Donovan (Phil) got up with fake blood all over his face, and he was crying and in a very fragile state. He looked me in the eyes and then, as if to remind me of the significance of the scene, said in character, "You do this, and then I kill myself."

Another scene that was difficult for me as a new actor was a scene where I had to be intimate with my male co-star. A lot of prep work was done before this scene in rehearsals, so that we were both able kiss each other without breaking up or feeling afraid.

My director said to me, "You’re a pretty goofy, funny guy when you’re off camera and not on set." I think my goofiness is a way to help me balance the real world and the fictional film world, so I am able to release the mindset I am in on set by immediately stepping back out of character and just being myself after the director yells cut.

Overall, the production was an unbelievable experience. We filmed full days, sometimes waking up at 5:30 a.m. and going until 10 p.m. Those days were long, but they went by fast when I was working. I learned to love the camera while it was directly in my face, and it was interesting seeing myself on camera after I shot a scene when we played it back on the monitor to watch it.

In my opinion, working on film is easier than stage acting because every action and line of dialogue can be smaller and more natural, rather than trying to make everything you do on stage big enough to convey to an audience sitting in the back of the theater. Yet the hardest thing to adjust to when shooting a film is the stop-and-go process. When the director yells cut, and you're shooting another scene immediately after, I found it easier to try to stay in character the whole time rather than having to get back into it.

Being on set every day, I learned a lot about filmmaking behind the scenes. The crew members on this film were all very experienced, and I learned a lot from them. I had the opportunity to work with a very talented and skilled D.P., David Griffith, who used the term "team" a lot as if we were one. After all, we were all working together to make an extraordinary film.

Overall, an experience like this was very worthwhile for an ambitious young actor like myself. Learning the process of how a production advances from casting, to rehearsal, to shooting, to post production is something that I can now expand upon with every film I work on. And the rush that I got from a camera being held a foot away from my face made me know even more now how badly I want to make this a career.

For more info about Teens Like Phil, visit www.teenslikephil.com. You can also donate to the film on Kickstarter. (On the film's page on Kickstarter, Rosler wrote, "I am a film student in NY and was also bullied throughout my middle and high school years. I understand the character of my film as well as millions of bullied teens. Yes, I said millions, because it is estimated about 3 million teens across the globe are bullied each year for all sorts of discrimination... I hope and pray that my movie will bring a powerful message to students, parents and teachers across the nation to talk and educate their children, students and friends to end the vicious cycle of bullying and to be more loving to one another.")

-- Jake Robbins

Comments

[Craig Robbins]

Wow, very impressive blog by Jake Robbins, well done. Looking forward to seeing the film.

[Emmanuel C Mbonu]

Is a good thing that an up coming artiste took a good lead role and succeed. Can you tell what you exprience in contiunity? How hard is to reapt your act and words in different shorts? I enjoy this and i love see backstages. Am Director.